by Noémie Caron
(Continuation of Layla’s story)
When we got to the hospital, I could see it was the time to say goodbye. I wasn’t able to accept it, but, if she’s in pain here, it’s the best for her to go. I asked the doctors if we could talk alone, just the family.
– Hey, I know it’s difficult for you darling, but be strong. For you and for our daughter. I had the best time with you. All the adventures, all the joy and the sadness sometimes.
– I love you so much, sweetheart. Why are you leaving me ? I said trying to hold back my tears.
– The world decided it was the time for me to go. I know you will be able to continue without me. Even if I’m not there, I’ll always be in your heart. I love you so much.
– You are my life, my everything.
Then, I started to sing one of our songs.
She immediately started to sing with me. It was a beautiful moment and I will remember it all my life. After that, Layla said her goodbyes and simultaneously, she left us…
For the next few weeks, I found peace in bottles of alcohol. I shouldn’t have done that. Layla has been looking at me every night and it has been the same face. A face desperate and full of sadness. I wanted to stop and be the dad I was before but my head wouldn’t stop.
One day, I realized that I needed help, but looking for help was too much for me. My daughter was also having a hard time, and I didn’t do anything for her. I was such a bad dad and I regret it. After much thought, I decided to see a doctor and get pills for my depression. They helped to be in a better mood, but the alcohol problem was still there.
I tried many ways to stop drinking but it didn’t help. Even though I was still drinking a lot, I started again to be a dad. Every night, Layla was crying and I comforted her because I knew why she was crying for.
One day, I had an accident while driving under influence. I went in jail and my daughter was all alone. It was my fault and I didn’t do what my wife wanted me to do. “Be strong for you and for our daughter”, she said. Well, I screwed up…
L'info-Mallet 